The Nymphomaniac

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat.. As he settled in, he glanced
up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.

He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat ... As fate would
have it, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or
pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual
Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston "

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting
next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business
role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my
personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."


"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are
the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American
Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it
is men of Jewish descent who are the best.

I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is
the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry,"
she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't
even know your name.."

"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."

Bear Hunting Downeast

Paul and I went downeast to bear hunt. A friend of ours set up three areas for me to hunt. I have never bear hunted before so I welcomed the opportunity.

It started out OK. We rented a place in Lubec which was a typical downeast cottage. The bed left something to be desired; not terribly comfortable.

Bear hunting takes place at last light. Paul and I looked over the sites Derek had prepared for us and decided on the one with the double tree stand (where we could both sit together while waiting for Yogi). It required climbing up a ladder and shimmying into the seat. I was able to gauge my progress as the last time I attempted this feat was before I had surgery for my hydrocephalus and I couldn't get into the stand.

We sat three evenings waiting for the bear to come in. All three days had record heat and animals wearing fur coats like to rest in this weather. The wind (at least what there was of it) was perfect but no bear......

Paul looked over at me and commented that he had never been hunting with someone wearing full eye makeup and jewelry (you can never tell who you may run into LOL). Needless to say, I didn't get my bear although I am not through yet. The last day we were driving out and there was Yogi crossing the road. Needless to say, I am going back in a week with my son to see if I can get Yogi in my crosshairs. More posts to follow....